Its Me Against Cupid.

i have to get this off my chest, or boobs ;P but i ve been hiding this awful but pleasant feeling fer too long & now its eating me alive so i gonna gett rid of it once & for all!

theres nervous breakdown, mental breakdown, emotional breakdown & even cars breaking down, but ive never experience any of em . wad i did have was very unacceptable fer me! i was in total denial of it at first, but i soon realise wad i did have was all real. i had a jealousy breakdown.

it all started with a guy. heh soo cliche' but its true, it always does ae ladies. his an awesome guy, really, his smart, witty, funny, entertaining, lame ( ironically) , easy to talk to, cool, lame, a good listener, & a even better talker, & did i mention real lame. but im more lamer then any of you baskets. so the bottom line, his an awesome guy with a great soul. & i fell fer hym.

i deny the feelings , evry bit of it. but i just couldnt run away from my true feelings. but wad he did, i went into a total bytch fit & was soo jealous i just started to find fault in him & would scold hym fer it. i cant tell wad he did but yeah. so when i got in to the jealousy breakdown, then did i realise how mch i really like hym.

but i cant go on like tht u see. cuz i dont noe if he likes me back. or maybe he might even be gay fer all i noe! gosh~ but yeah. i was jealous. but now, i want to come clean. i want to move on. the spark is now long gone & its everything but igniting again. so...

to 'guy' it was a shocker tht i was capable of having such breakdowns, knowing myself too well tht i cloud not allow myself to do such things all fer the cause of a guy, u! it shows how much u meant to me, ure a good person & a great friend, & i want to stop just at tht. i want to rid of this crush & move. im quite embarrass to post this but its the only way to not kept my feeling all bottled inside, i wanted to write this all in an expensive paper, put in a bottle & throw it out to sea, just like in the book 'message in the bottle' but knowing singapore's lousy basket sea, it would only drift back to me, or maybe if im lucky to sentosa or pulau ubin. so here, its official, i use to like u now, its all back to square one, so lets start over,
'ayy im haidah! and you are? tanx fer the add btw.'

god bless