its lies
that tears you up
that makes you fall
& when you fall,
you might not
stand back up.
i tell myself
i can do it
but i cant.
i tell myself
theres time, dont worry,
but theres isnt, panicked.
i tell my self
im brave,
but im scared.
i tell myself
his not the one,
but he is.
i tell myself
i hate him,
but i love him.
im telling myself
im not lying
but thats a lie itself.
its this small little white lies
that i kept.
but then it grew
& grew
& now
all of it is over due.
its crawling
haunting me
till its all out
& im caught
in my own
twisted words
i cant say.
how i wish i can just say it
but i cant
i want to forget about
that face
but i cant
i just cant.
theres nothing to bless about this.
